The mental load no one sees

Sometimes it feels like you’re carrying an entire world inside your head. It’s like your brain is juggling 47 tabs all at once: the grocery list, the school emails, the work deadlines, your mom’s doctor appointment, the family group chat, your partner’s reminder, your friend’s birthday, your child’s permission slip, remembering to hydrate… it all spins nonstop in your head.

Contrary to what you might think this invisible load isn’t about being busy. It’s about constantly managing, remembering, thinking, planning, anticipating, caring and carrying the emotional weight for everyone around you and being responsible for literally everything. And that’s exhausting. Most of us don’t even realize how heavy this load has become until our body and mind start sending signals like trouble sleeping, irritability, constant fatigue and/or anxiety that seems to appear out of nowhere.

How mental overload manifests

When you’re running on empty, your mind and body start to push back: fatigue that doesn’t go away, trouble sleeping or focusing, mood swings, brain fog,  anxiety, that nagging feeling of “I can’t keep up” or even physical pain. These are not signs of weakness: they’re signals that you’ve been carrying too much for too long.

Lifting the invisible weight one choice at a time

Lightening the load (and your mind) is definitely possible and here’s how to start:

• Acknowledge it: you’re doing a lot so give yourself credit

• Delegate without guilt: let others carry part of the weight at work and at home

• Prioritize rest as non-negotiable: true rest is more than just sleep. It restores your mind and not just your body. For example: taking a walk alone, spending an hour without your phone or simply enjoying time in silence

• Say no unapologetically: every no protects your peace and frees space for what actually nourishes you.

©jessicahermans2025