The selfcare myth

Somewhere along the way selfcare became a buzzword and marketing trend. Social media tells us it’s all about scented candles, face masks and spa days. And while those are nice, they don’t heal burnout, anxiety or disconnection.

The truth about real selfcare

True selfcare means honesty and boundaries. It’s the courage to look at your life and ask yourself “what do I truly need right now?” Maybe it’s setting firmer boundaries with people who drain you. Maybe it’s not checking emails after 7 pm. Maybe it’s eating lunch without guilt, taking a solo walk just to breathe or resting when you’re tired and not just when you’ve “earned” it. Or maybe it’s finally booking that therapy appointment.

What real selfcare looks like

Real selfcare is often:

• Unglamorous: turning off notifications, cleaning your space and going to bed earlier

• Uncomfortable: saying no when you’ve always said yes

• Healing: reconnecting with what actually makes you feel alive

Reclaiming selfcare as self-respect

Selfcare isn’t selfish: it’s self-respect. It’s how you remind yourself that you’re worthy of rest, joy and balance. So yes, take the bubble bath if it soothes you. But also have the hard conversations, set the boundaries and choose peace over perfection. That’s real care. That’s self-love in action.

©jessicahermans2025